"I Don't Have a Phone Addiction"
Until my recent camping trip revealed the exact opposite — 4 reasons to check your own phone dependence, too
I just got back from a road and camping trip across North and South Carolina.
On the one hand, it’s been an idyllic experience:
I slept in the forest,
roasted marshmallows over a campfire,
hiked,
lounged under the shade of pine trees,
made coffee on a camping stove first thing in the morning.
On the other hand, I…
got eaten alive by mosquitos,
saw ‘Trump 2024’ signs in people’s front yards,
almost got attacked by two armadillos in the night (they are fearless),
saw ‘Trump 2024’ signs in people’s front yards,
discovered the existence of crazy insects I’d have been happier not knowing about,
… oh, and saw tons and tons of ‘Trump 2024’ signs in people’s front yards.
And as if the universe didn’t want to strip away the glamour from my mental narrative of ‘I’m putting myself out of my comfort zone by camping in the woods 💁♀️’ any further, I was exposed to something else my Ideal Self would have been better off in the dark about:
My ridiculous phone addiction.
Electronic devices, those sneaky beasts
The thing about technology is that we are constantly surrounded by it, making it hard to even experience its absence.
We can now surf the internet on planes, scroll before bed or while waiting…literally for anything. We can chat with friends while vegetating on the sofa, order food, objects, clothes, and whatever tool your father requests you to buy him online—all from that same cushioned habitat.
As a remote worker, I realized months ago that the convenience provided by such artifacts had distanced me more and more from ‘life and people out there’, leading to feelings of depression and apathy.
Just like a smoker who refuses to see themselves as one because they “only smoke in social situations” (👋been there, said that), we rarely view our dependence on these sneaky beasts through a problematic lens.
Not-so-subtle symptoms
My belief in my healthy technology habits was quickly called into question on my first night sleeping in the woods.
I had envisioned this getaway as a peaceful couple of days spent in harmony with my partner, nature, and my inner self.
What I hadn’t anticipated was going through a full-on withdrawal crisis!
Whether it was the vulnerability of suddenly being alone (with my boyfriend) in an unfamiliar environment like the woods, the deep darkness we’re rarely exposed to in our blue-light-filled lives, or the fact that a black cat visited us on our first night out of the blue (sketchy stuff I should be familiar with by now), I had a hell of a hard time falling asleep.
My mind couldn’t stop craving the comfort of scrolling myself to sleep (with my device rendered useless by the lack of service) or watching TV.
Now, this latter desire particularly surprised me.
While I’m skilled in the art of sliding content on a screen with my thumb, I’m not a passionate series watcher or a TV couch potato (yeah, yeah, ‘everyone says that’— I know what you’re thinking).
Rather, I have acute flare-ups where I’ll watch TV every day for two weeks straight, then nothing for six months.
I guess such a short time-span is enough to make you accustomed to the fulfilling sensation of switching your brain off when the screen in front of you lights up.
In sum, here’s how the symptoms of my addiction to technology manifested over my trip:
Night withdrawal: A sense of feeling lost without a phone in my hand, of missing something, with a restlessness running through my body. It got better after the first night.
Daytime boredom: After my reading capacity had expired for the day, I found myself experiencing real, primordial boredom—the kind we abandoned when we stopped paying for SMS by the message in favor of instant messaging and no longer had to wait hours for our friends to reply.
Anything but the present moment: Over the trip, I interestingly noticed my mind often clinging to anything that could bring bouts of dopamine: sugar (at breakfast, I would already start thinking, “When is it time for S’mores?” or gobble down a handful of marshmallows right away), future plans—however trivial they were (“Next weekend I will…”, “When I return to NYC, I will…”, “I need to organize my pictures”, “I need to liberate my Google Drive…”), and generally more and more Ideal Self-type pursuits. In a nutshell, I envisioned myself returning to normal life with perfect habits, a perfect diet, and everything else you can think of.
General anxiety every time I did have service: Lastly, whenever I found myself in an area with service, like when we drove to towns along our route to get groceries, a shiver of anxiety would hit as WhatsApp messages started popping up with the first few bars of signal.
There was no real reason for me to be anxious—no major work deadlines or unexpected events—but just the shift from being unreachable to reachable after hours of disconnection carried a mix of anxiety and disappointment.
Interestingly, fellow writer
, reflecting on a vacation to the remote, internetless Brazilian island Ilha do Cardoso, reported a similar feeling:“The day I got back internet signal and made the mistake of opening social media, instead of feeling relieved, I felt utterly irritated. To Heraclitus's disappointment, the Instagram river is always the same.”—he wrote.
Based on my experience, here are 4 reasons why you should check your level of addiction to technology:
Research shows that people generally underestimate the time spent on the phone.
French philosopher Blaise Pascal once said, “All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” It's hard to imagine anyone who has ever owned a smartphone not struggling with this today.
So, here are four reasons to challenge yourself to assess your dependence on technology and, potentially, take a break from it for a few days:
Reason No. 1—If Anything Apocalyptic Happens, You Are Doomed
A book I read recently, The Silence by Don DeLillo, draws an apocalyptic scenario where all technology shuts down just as a group of friends gathers to watch a football match in Manhattan.
People start acting incredibly weird: some become apathetic, others existential, and entire relationships begin to crumble.
It’s important to develop a degree of resilience to technology so you don’t lose your mind when it fails or becomes unavailable.
“What happens to people who live inside their phones?” — Don DeLillo, The Silence
Reason No. 2—Dopamine Is Not Happiness
One quote that resonated with me during my camping experience was from Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh:
‘Many people think excitement is happiness. But when you are excited, you are not peaceful. True happiness is based on peace.’
Devices keep us hooked with spikes of dopamine, making us crave more. But excitement is not the same as happiness.
Detoxing from our electronic devices reminds us of the importance of cultivating peace rather than relying on continuous external stimuli.
Reason No. 3—Boredom Sparks Creativity
In a previous newsletter, I mentioned that if I hadn’t experienced boredom during a monk-mode period in Croatia at the end of 2022, I might never have discovered online writing as a hobby and passion.
For how difficult it is to experience nowadays, boredom is sacred because it can bring unexpected surprises—if you have the patience to trust its process.
Reason No. 4—“It’s a Virtual Reality, Baby!”
Taking a break from my phone reminded me that our virtual reality is a parallel existence. While our virtual life and image has become a fundamental part of our lives (and that’s OK—don’t throw your phone out of the window), it’s not the only reality.
Look around at the people in your life: could they benefit from more of your mindful presence? Do you need more of their presence? Is technology hindering something in this regard?
That’s all for this week from my side. Before leaving, I’d love to hear from you:
Have you ever experienced phone withdrawal symptoms?
Do you take any measures in your daily life to manage your phone usage? If so, share them below—I’d love to hear your strategies!
Stay safe,
Yours,
Caterina
Loving your insights! I noticed I haven't dreamt of smartphones until recently. Is it just me? Do you dream of phones? Also, I am interested in the book you mentioned! It sounds similar to a Netflix movie I'd highly recommend: Leave the world behind.