How Long Are You Going to Ignore the Signs?

Your life might be low-key begging you for a change

A few months ago, I hugged a friend goodbye as she packed up to move countries.

I felt a bittersweet mix of emotions — happiness that she was finally taking the leap to change her life, and sadness because we had grown close, bonded by our shared love of travel and our parallel expat stories:

Me, an Italian currently living in the U.S.; her, an American who had spent four years in Italy before moving back.

Despite loving her Italian life, my friend had, at some point, guilted herself into returning to the U.S. for the sake of a more “sensible” future and better salary prospects.

“It’s the wisest thing to do,” I could picture her thinking while making the difficult call.

Back in the U.S., she had tried to re-adjust:

• a solid, higher-paying teaching job in New York City,

• a new circle of friends,

• new romances.

But beneath it all, things kept breaking down. The job felt uninspiring, friendships a little hollow, and her dates (by “coincidence”—all with Italian guys) went nowhere. Her life “subway ride” always seemed to be running on “local” instead of “express.”

Eventually, during a summer break, she took a month-long solo trip.

She thought a dose of adventure might cure her dissatisfaction.

And for a while, it did.

Her eyes sparkled as she told me about her travels across the Filipino islands: the freshest foods, new friendships, laughter.

Everything seemed great… until she landed back at JFK, with her school job about to start again.

That’s when she broke into uncontrollable tears the moment she saw her family waiting at the airport:

she realized she didn’t want to be back.

The U.S. no longer fit her.

Even if life in Italy paid less, it gave her something richer, something she eagerly craved in this phase of her life: lightness, excitement, and the feeling that she was truly living.

In that moment, she understood she could no longer postpone the inevitable: she needed to leave again.

When you’re not living the life you’re meant to live, the signs show up

first subtly, then louder and louder.

Your first instinct might be to ignore them:

“It’s not wise financially,”

“No one else I know has done something like this,”

“What will [insert person] think?”

But the whispers don’t stay quiet. Eventually, they rise to the surface.

Here are some signs:

#1 You Can’t Sleep at Night

Sleeplessness is often the first whisper that something’s off — until it becomes a scream.

When I was living in Poland, I had a prestigious job and everything looked “right” on paper.

But in my last few months, every time I lay in bed, my mind raced with what-ifs.

I couldn’t sleep for weeks. I was deeply dissatisfied but too scared to make a change. The weight of fear — of giving up perceived status, security, a stable salary — kept me paralyzed.

Eventually, I realized: if something was costing me my peace of mind every single night, it wasn’t sustainable.

Paradoxically, the day I handed in my resignation to finally kickstart my dream of working while traveling, I slept like a baby.

#2 You’re Constantly Anxious (or Numb)

Sometimes the signal isn’t full-blown insomnia, but a constant, low-grade anxiety — or worse, a numbness you can’t shake.

You walk around with a tight chest, unable to name exactly what’s wrong, but knowing something is.

You might be getting mild anxiety attacks on Sunday nights just thinking about Monday.

And it might not be just the job. Perhaps it’s the whole lifestyle that no longer aligns with who you are becoming.

If that edge-of-panic feeling becomes your baseline, your life might be begging you for a change.

#3 You Keep Telling Yourself, “I Can Endure One More…”

One more week. One more month. One more year.

But here’s the thing: if you’re counting down the days until a promotion, a vacation, or the day you can finally quit — that’s a sign in itself.

Back in Poland, I kept telling myself I’d feel better once I got a raise or a title bump.

But at some point, even imagining that future no longer excited me.

I was living for milestones, not the present.

Eventually, I had to confront the truth: the finish line kept moving because I was running the wrong race.

#4 You Wake Up Tired (Even After Sleeping)

Not just physically tired, but emotionally drained.

That kind of morning fog you can’t shake, no matter how much coffee you drink, might be the weight of dread, disguised as fatigue.

I’ve had phases where I was sleeping fine, eating well, exercising — doing all the “right” things — yet still woke up heavy.

I’m a big believer that when your life isn’t energizing you, your body knows — long before your mind is ready to admit it.

#5 You Struggle to Be Present

You’re always somewhere else in your head — replaying the past or fantasizing about escape.

Even when surrounded by people, you feel mentally checked out.

In my friend’s case, even during her time in New York, it felt like she couldn’t let go of her life in Italy. The city’s buzz didn’t penetrate her. She wasn’t fully present.

In Italy, she had felt alive, present, there.

The difference? In Italy, she was living a life aligned with her values.

Presence is a byproduct of alignment. When you can’t access it, it might be time to realign.

Conclusion

My friend’s story (and my own) are reminders that change doesn’t always come with a perfect plan.

Sometimes, it manifests through signs of varying intensity, until you give yourself permission: to admit you’re not okay, to want something different, to believe that your happiness is worth disrupting the status quo.

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That’s all from me this week—until next time!

Yours,
Caterina