Scarcity Vs. 'Can-Do' Mindset
How living in the US and dating an American changed my Italian values
Over the past five years—since I began dating my American partner and spending significant time in the United States—I’ve immersed myself in American culture, absorbing it like a sponge.
Since the beginning of this year, my periodic visits to the States have turned into living and working full-time here, which has further deepened my understanding of the country’s culture and its values.
American culture—a tricky encounter
While it’s true that all travel and cross-cultural experiences have the potential to change us, the encounter with American culture can be particularly tricky for those of us from across the pond.
In fact, a sentiment I often sense in the company of fellow Europeans, one I recognized in my younger self, is the pretension of knowing exactly what “America” is.
It’s true—American culture is omnipresent in our lives from a young age—through the movies we watch, the news we consume, and the apps we use. How different must it be from what we see on the screen?
However, while we may think we understand another country’s culture due to its presence in our daily lives—we can’t truly grasp its underlying values until we've had prolonged exposure to its people or lived there ourselves.
That’s exactly been my experience with American culture and its values, one aspect of which I’ll explore in more depth in today’s article.
It’s a matter of mindset—Scarcity vs. Abundance
In Italy (and many Southern European countries can relate), our mindset is shaped by a sense of scarcity from an early age, often influenced by the behaviors of our parents and families.
For most people, achieving a sense of security is a major life goal, and many decisions—whether in business or personal life—are driven by fear or worry.
A clear example of this is the saving habits of Italians.
Italians are known to be avid savers. While saving behaviors have declined since the 1990s, Italians still save twice as much of their income as Americans.
In a recent survey, over 50% of Italians said they save to feel more secure in their day-to-day lives, especially in case of unexpected events or difficulties. The most common feelings associated with saving were caution (38%) and worry (31%).
Italians’ risk adversity also manifest in a low propensity to incur into household debt as compared to other European countries and the U.S.
In fact, when I first started traveling to the U.S. years ago, American friends had to explain to me what credit card debt was—a concept I had never even heard of before!
This desire to avoid risk is also why having a government job with a permanent contract—the famous ‘posto fisso’—is seen as a life certainty and the ultimate symbol of security and success in Italy.
This Italian drive for safety was further exacerbated by the 2008 economic crisis, also known as the Great Recession.
For those of us in our teens or early adulthood during that time, the catastrophic phrase “You’ll never find a job when you grow up” was hammered into our heads. More than a decade later, Italy’s economy is still not doing that well and our national unemployment rate hovers around 7 percent, making it the fifth-highest in Europe.
Youth unemployment (<25 y.o.) also remains alarmingly high at roughly 21 percent, with southern regions like Sicily, Calabria, and Campania holding the grim record at 34-43%.
Broadly speaking, I’d describe the Italian mindset as somewhat fatalistic, with a touch of pessimism.
Expressions like "Il treno passa una volta sola!" (the train only passes once), “Chi si accontenta gode” (enough is as good as a feast), and "Chi troppo vuole nulla stringe” (he who grabs for too much ends up with nothing) all convey the idea that staying humble, not aiming too high, and tempering ambition are virtues.
If we look at Hofstede’s cultural dimensions—a well-known tool in psychology for comparing cultural values across countries, developed by social psychologist Gerard Hofstede—we see a stark contrast between Italy and the U.S.
On the "Uncertainty Avoidance" dimension—particularly relevant here and which refers to how societies handle the uncertainty of the future, whether by trying to control it or by embracing it—Italy and the United States score quite differently:
A high score in uncertainty avoidance means that, as a nation, Italians are generally uncomfortable with ambiguous situations. To prevent societal chaos, we create layers of complex bureaucracy, filled with hard-to-decipher clauses and codicils.
What might surprise a foreigner is the apparent contradiction: despite the existence of all these rules, Italians don’t always follow them!
In contrast, the low uncertainty avoidance score for the U.S. reflects a greater acceptance of new ideas, innovative products, and a willingness to experiment—whether in technology, business practices, or food.
It's no surprise that the U.S. continues to be one of the most innovative economies in the world!
From what I’ve observed during my time here, Americans generally don’t require many rules in the workplace. The social hierarchy tends to be more relaxed, less formal, and less rigid compared to Italy.
How the U.S. has changed my Italian values
Overall, I can’t say that I’ve completely changed as a person during my years of exposure to American culture and values.
A recurring theme in my relationship, for example, is still the ongoing clash between the typical American optimism and can-do attitude of my partner versus my Italian cautious and grounded approach to things!
However, after the past few years, I found it impossible to remain immune to the allure of the American empowerment mindset, which permeates every industry and sphere of life. This influence is particularly evident in the slogans of many famous brands, such as:
Additionally, a similar phenomenon I’ve increasingly indulged in over the past few years is the extensive use of hyperbolic expressions typical of American English, such as ‘Amazing!’, ‘Awesome!’, ‘It’s the BEST!’, and more.
On a deeper level, this exposure to a culture focused on self-empowerment and individualism has also influenced my own beliefs, deepening my sense of agency and confidence.
For example, the typically Italian fatalistic attitude towards life that I mentioned earlier has partly given way to a mindset of 'No pain, no gain' and 'Hard work pays off,' which I’ve observed in how I now approach many spheres of my life, such as career, fitness and to a certain extent, even my writing!
Living at the intersection of two worlds, however, requires caution.
In Italy or Europe in general, things like bragging about or selling your achievements, marketing yourself professionally, or pitching ideas will require a more modest approach compared to America.
Similarly, a fatalistic or victimistic attitude, or a scarcity mindset, will only take you so far in American society, where negotiation and confidence in advocating for your position are deeply ingrained, even in areas like school grades or healthcare.
Therefore, while I still hold on to my Italian roots, I've progressively learned to embrace the strengths of both cultures during my time here.
That’s all for this week from my side. Before leaving, I’d love to hear from you:
Has a place you’ve lived in, traveled to, or its people changed you? If so, how?
Let me know in the comments or send me a message!
The US does provide a ton of opportunity, starting a business there is easier than most other countries, especially if you can leverage credit to get things started. That doesn't seem to be as much of a thing here in Europe. I love the way Scott Galloway puts it: "America is the best place to make money and Europe is the best place to spend it"
Italian cautious approach to life is quite similar to indian way of living.