I Networked For 3 Months Straight in New York City

3 key lessons on confidence and career clarity I learned from my nerve-wracking experiment

Succession (2018)

From September to December 2024, I ran a challenging experiment:

Attending as many in-person events and meetings as possible in New York City.

The only rule? Go to events I was genuinely interested in.

Some Context

You might wonder why I’d push myself so far out of my comfort zone—what would drive me to take on such a time-consuming and nerve-wracking commitment.

I had two main motivations:

1. Clarifying My Short-Term Career Goals

As a visa-bound worker in the U.S., I was still waiting for my employment authorization, which would finally free me from being tied to a single employer (and income).

This piece of paper would open up the broader job market to me, giving me the freedom to:

• Change jobs (if I wanted to), or

• Explore roles to complement my current part-time position.

So, while waiting for bureaucracy to run its course, I thought:

Why not do some market research?

Best-case scenario, I’d make valuable networking connections. Worst-case scenario, I’d make new friends—which didn’t sound bad at all!

2. Exploring Ideas for My Long-Term Career Plan

My second motivation was tied to my long-term ambition to become a solopreneur.

Over the past couple of years (especially during my six-month career break), I realized that before diving into an independent venture, I still needed to refine my skills in a traditional job setting.

I also needed clarity on which skills I wanted to base my future services on.

As a generalist who’s worked across different industries and roles, I knew this would take time.

Talking to people—without the pressure of finding something immediately—seemed like a great way to gather ideas, develop an overview of what people need, and see where I might fit.

The Process

When it dawned on me that I wanted to give this experiment a try—and that I was in New York City, where there’s no shortage of networking events and conferences—the world felt like my oyster!

Here are some examples of events I attended during the trimester:

• A networking event for generalists

• A workshop at my workplace on career growth strategies

• Multiple meet-ups for Italian-speaking people in New York City

• An immigration policy conference (which aligned with my academic interests and background in psychology)

I also took an active role in organizing a picnic and multiple nights out with friends, almost always inviting someone new I had met at an event.

The more conferences, meetups, and events I attended over those three months, the more I learned—not just about myself, but about how people think and behave.

Also, the thought of putting myself out there was initially daunting, but after the first few events, I started feeling more relaxed, especially after the generalists' event I mentioned above.

That gathering, in particular, made me realize just how many people were also trying to figure out their path. It reassured me that I didn’t need to show up with a perfectly defined goal in mind, which made the rest of the experiment feel less anxiety-inducing.

Here are the three most interesting lessons I uncovered during my experiment:

#1 Everyone (including the people you idealize) is in pursuit of something

If I had to categorize the people I spoke with, most fell into one of two groups:

• Those longing for love,

• Those longing for career-related fulfillment.

Sure, some had health-related goals or concerns, but understandably, that’s a more private topic and thus harder to come across in public conversations.

Some examples of people I met and their aspirations:

• A communications expert craving more recognition and a promotion,

• A director-level professional who dreamed of starting a family but hadn’t yet met the right person,

• A young psychiatrist, already a homeowner, who was dealing with heartbreak and longing for a new chapter.

Engaging with people through active listening changed my perspective.

I started seeing them as whole individuals with their own vulnerabilities and insecurities rather than just in terms of their career success or status.

In many cases, this created a spontaneous virtuous cycle:

• Some people would offer unsolicited help, saying things like: "If you’re interested in my workplace, I’d be happy to help!"

• Or they’d give me candid insights about their roles and industries without me needing to ask to "pick their brain."

#2 People undervalue their own jobs and idealize others’

A fascinating pattern also emerged from my conversations:

A surprisingly large number of people I met underestimate the impact of their own work while idealizing others’.

But here’s the catch—this only happened once they felt comfortable enough to open up about the criticisms they had towards their own work.

Some examples:

• The nurse practitioner dismissed her role as “just prescribing medication.”

• The PhD student downplayed his research as “too niche to make a real-world impact.”

• The financial crimes auditor described her work as “repetitive—something anyone could do.”

I’ve written more about this fundamental attribution error—the tendency to downplay one’s own impact while idealizing others’—here.

Overall, witnessing this duality was fascinating (especially in NYC!)—it reinforced that many of us carry internal doubts or criticisms about our work (not just you!), even if we present it confidently to others.

#3 Even as a Generalist, I’m more discerning than I thought

This was probably my biggest takeaway.

As someone who identifies as a generalist, I’ve often believed I could be interested in almost anything.

This belief sometimes made my career path feel more squiggly and confusing than it probably was.

But after countless conversations with professionals across different fields and industries, I often found myself thinking:

"No, this wouldn’t be for me."

"I wouldn’t enjoy this kind of career."

So, even as a generalist and multi-passionate individual, I discovered I’m far more discerning than I thought. My varied interests and pursuits still connect through a core set of themes and preferred type of work.

Career-wise, I now realize I want to keep revolving around the areas that have characterized my work so far—not necessarily all at once:

• HR & Career Development

• Social Impact

And in terms of the type of work, I’m drawn to roles centered on project management, operations, and training development.

“Witnessing this duality was fascinating—it reinforced that many of us carry internal doubts or criticisms about our work (not just you!), even if we present it confidently to others.”

Conclusion

From September to December 2024, I took on a challenging experiment: attending as many in-person networking events as possible in New York City.

Interestingly, this process unlocked three key lessons:

1. Everyone (including the people you idealize) is in pursuit of something

2. People undervalue their own jobs and idealize others’

3. Even as a generalist, I’m more discerning than I thought.

Throughout this journey, my focus shifted dramatically—from approaching people with a networking, outcome-driven mindset to truly seeing them as whole individuals, each with their own unique stories, desires, and challenges.

Turns out, relaxing into the process of building genuine connections creates virtuous cycles, where people naturally open up and are more likely to offer support in return.

Thank you for reading Freedom Focus! I’m curious to hear your thoughts:

• Do you actively network, or do you avoid it altogether?

• Does the word ‘networking’ make you feel anxious just by hearing it?

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That’s all from me this week. I’ll be in your inbox again soon!