No Decision Is Final (You Can Relax)

You’re not signing a blood pact—you’re making a choice. And you can always make a new one.

There is something reassuring about a linear career, a specialist path or an impeccable resume.

Well, of course there is!

It’s what we’re raised and shaped to believe we should want:

Finish your studies! Find a job! Reap the fruits of your degree! Climb the ladder! Don’t create problems! Don’t draw too much attention! Don’t switch too many roles/industries/countries—you’ll confuse them! Don’t change your mind!

All of that, in opposition to:

Reinvent yourself! Travel! Quit things! Accept sunk costs! Change your mind! Experiment! Feel confused (and maybe, just maybe, accept it as an embedded variable of life)! Talk to people! Test hypotheses! Grow into the multidimensional person you are, instead of shrinking into the one-directional version of yourself you were taught to be.

Oof.

Let’s be real:

The world feeds us one version of how life is supposed to unfold, while many of us are secretly hungry for another.

Writer and psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock puts it eloquently during her guest appearance on Elise Loehnen’s show Pulling the Thread, while discussing her book about quarterlife — a phase of life that, to my surprise, is said to span from 16 to 36 years old:

“The focus of adulthood has been on stability: find a job and don't leave it, find a partner and don't get divorced, have babies, you know, white picket fence, the vision of adulthood has been so wedded to stability that it was hard for me, even in writing the book and sorting this out, to pull them apart, you know, that the understanding full stop is that the goal of adulthood is to gain stability and then midlife, we now understand people have to search for meaning because there wasn’t time for that prior.”

We’re told to stay on the path.

To make sure it all makes sense on paper.

But what makes sense on paper doesn’t always make sense in real life.

Most of the time, our real, instinctive nature pulls us toward something else:

• Like taking time off that’s more than just five vacation days here and there. A real break. A sabbatical.

• Or finally giving that business idea that’s been roaming around your mind for nine months a proper chance.

• Or temporarily shifting to part-time work so you can finally dedicate time to your creative pursuits—the ones you’ve been relegating to late nights, when you’re too tired to give them the energy they deserve.

Because here’s the magical thing:

If you allowed yourself to go for it, you wouldn’t be signing a lifelong commitment.

It’s not a blood pact—it’s a choice. And you can always make a new one.

And no, I’m not saying you should be irresponsible.

But honestly—do I even need to say that?

Most of the time, the problem is the opposite.

If you’re here, reading newsletters about freedom, travel and remote work, I’m willing to bet you’re already too responsible.

You’ve probably been carrying responsibility on your back for years.

You’ve probably been the person making the sensible choice—

the one that earned you a nod of approval,

the one everyone expected of you.

But what about making a choice that brings you alive?

Take me, for example.

I’ve left jobs twice without a plan, when I was definitely too junior and too broke to be doing that by most people literally everyone’s standards.

I’ve lived in too many countries in too few years for anyone to hear it without squinting, trying to piece it together.

I’ve gone from studying cultural psychology and working at NGOs to dreaming of becoming an urbanist, graduating with a thesis in environmental psychology. In the middle of it all, I managed to become a yoga teacher, and after that, I plunged into HR—first at one of the biggest intergovernmental organizations in the world, then at a tech startup. From there, I dove into academia, transforming into a hybrid creature: half project manager, half researcher.

And as a Line 5 in Human Design, something tells me I’m far from done yet (where are my HD lovers at? 😏).

Don’t let me fool you:

Some days, none of this makes sense to me.

(And on those days, it definitely doesn’t make sense to other people or the recruiter I once talked to.)

But what I know is that each of these decisions stemmed from urgent, unapologetic, deeply authentic needs and desires:

Sometimes, it was curiosity.

Other times (like when I graduated during a global pandemic, watched all my internships disappear, and ended up unemployed for a year), straight-up survival—I needed a job.

Sometimes, it was the dream of traveling while working.

Other times, a strategic move—a planned step to something I wanted next.

Because here’s the second magical thing:

You don’t owe an explanation for your choices to anybody.

Not your friends. Not your family. Not LinkedIn. Not your coworkers. Not even yourself, on the days when you’re doubting everything.

You don’t need permission to explore, to pivot, to outgrow your old plans.

You are allowed to change your mind.

And it doesn’t make you flaky, or irresponsible, or lost—it makes you you.

You can build a life that’s not built on a straight line, but on experiments.

Because every experiment teaches you something the linear path never could:

who you really are when no one’s handing you the script.

Thank you for reading Freedom Focus! Here’s what’s happening behind the scenes:

• You voted, and I’m making it happen: I’m finally launching a course on How to Land Remote Work! I’ve got plenty to share—not only am I on my third remote job, but as an HR professional, I’ve spent years learning the ins and outs of different industries. Plus, back in 2022, when I set my mind to finding a remote job that would let me travel the world, I scored an interview every 3.5 applications sent—even as a non-senior professional. Not bad, huh? Now, I just need to get to work and bring it to life 🙇🏻‍♀️ More updates coming soon!

• Thinking about career shifts, life overseas, or starting fresh as a remote worker or digital nomad? Book a focused 60-min 1:1 call! I’m still building things as I go, so… no fancy landing page yet (oops). But this session is designed to cut through the noise, ease your worries, and help you map out a clear next step. Snag a session before I remove the Calendly link and fully transition to a Founding Membership! 😉
  
  Here’s what people are saying:

  “Meeting other broads abroad like you is why I joined Substack!! The topics we touched on in our session brought so much clarity to my own abroad journey. Highly recommend booking an ‘Office Hour’ with Caterina if you’re feeling unsure about your next step and want advice from someone who gets it.” —Juviand R.

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As always, thank you for being here! 💙 Let’s keep building a community of freedom-seekers crafting lives with more autonomy, more purpose, and more flexibility!

Until next week,

Yours,
Caterina