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Kaila Krayewski's avatar

Oh that must have been quite the experience being thrust into your classes all in Portuguese! Good for you for embracing the moment.

I find this whole third culture concept fascinating, I guess because I have lived it for a long time.

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Caterina's avatar

Yes! It is fascinating and I love hearing about the different feelings that people who live in different countries attach to different languages and places!

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Monica Nastase's avatar

Interesting approach, and I loved reading about your experience and all those recommendations.

I had a bit of a reverse experience once, I had some family related issues and I looked for a therapist in my native tongue (after living for 18 years abroad), thinking I could understand better my native culture, the family members who lived there still, etc. But it wasn't successful at all, I felt like a stranger, the therapist was from a culture I wasn't part of anymore, there were multiple barriers. It's an important topic to think about when you choose your therapist, depending on the situation to solve as well.

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Caterina's avatar

Oh gosh, that sounds like a tough situation! But you provided a great example of the types of barriers I wanted to avoid when I chose a therapist from a different culture! I totally agree with you -- it's SO important to consider all these variables when choosing a therapist!

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Monica Nastase's avatar

It's part of the deal. Exciting, international living also brings tough situations! :)

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Elaine R. Frieman's avatar

🫶🏻🤩

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Sarah Bringhurst Familia's avatar

I speak English (my native language) with my therapist, but she is Greek, so I’ve definitely got a similar 3-culture thing going on to what you describe, since I live in Amsterdam. I would definitely feel uncomfortable about discussing my Dutch culture shock with a Dutch person, and an American would be emotionally invested to some degree in my rants about America, so I adore my warm, wonderful Greek therapist (who also has no preconceived ideas about the Mormon religion I grew up in and spend a lot of time on in therapy).

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Caterina's avatar

Wow, Sarah, I loved reading about your experience navigating so many different cultures in your day-to-day! Yes, I totally get where you come from; I think everyone has different concerns/priorities when it comes to deciding what to share in a therapeutic setting and with whom. I guess when it came to choosing a therapist, I cared more about not feeling trapped by the standard Italian norms and values—which I find a bit limiting as someone who has lived in several countries (and I knew I would run this 'risk' by opting for an Italian therapist), —rather than worrying about offending my Portuguese therapist when discussing my challenges in her country. Getting someone who is a total outsider, like you did, sounds ideal to be honest! Haha

By the way, I saw you are about to open a bookshop in Umbria! I'm from a neighboring region, so I'll keep that in mind if I happen to visit Umbria whenever I get back to Italy!

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Sarah Bringhurst Familia's avatar

Oh yes, do pop in if you’re ever in Umbria! The whole area is lovely.

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Barbs Honeycutt's avatar

So you associate speaking English with confidence and self-empowerment, but it also became a bridge for you. That's so interesting! I loved this post. I think I associate English with clear-headedness, professionalism, and rational thinking. That's why I am not as funny in English :S

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Caterina's avatar

Hahah I can assure you, you manage to be funny also in English! But yeah, I can relate to the professionalism and rational thinking. As for the latter, I think we are influenced by the fact that all academic research is in English, so reason why it appears to us as rational. And as for the professionalism... perhaps because we both live abroad and English is the language we speak at work, too? Or perhaps because the Italian work culture is one of the least professional on Earth with all the jokes, the sexism, the 1000s coffee breaks, etc. so we can't really relate our language with being professional? Haha just guessing!

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Barbs Honeycutt's avatar

is that the work culture in italy? I've never worked there (except that ONE time we all know about) but I am surprised it's still so stereotypical... well, am I surprised? ...hmm...

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Caterina's avatar

I've never worked in Italy either (or at least, not in a corporate setting), but based on the experiences my friends share, yes, it's still THAT stereotypical. Ugh

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Barbs Honeycutt's avatar

sigh... this is the Italy that the tourists or the 1-euro-homers don't see.

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Sarah Carothers's avatar

wow, that sounded like an insane experience in Portugal but a learning one for sure.

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Caterina's avatar

Yes! I'm glad I did it, but, boy, was it hard!

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Emanuela B's avatar

I hesitated for a long time before choosing my therapist, wondering whether to find an Italian or a French speaker. In the end, I chose an Italian, and we turned out to be a perfect match. At that time, I didn’t feel at ease telling a French person that I was struggling to fit into the culture 😅

But reading you, I see the potential of expressing such feelings in a foreign language!

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Caterina's avatar

Haha that's interesting—that concern didn't even cross my mind! But I understand it. And yes, I also believe that a good therapist is fundamental for the therapy to be effective, no matter the language they speak!

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Brenna's avatar

I just signed up for therapy with an Italian woman in English 😬 when I get to C1 I’ll switch for sure!!!

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Caterina's avatar

Well, that's going to be an interesting experience for sure! And I'm sure you can always use some words in Italian here and there if you feel like!😊Good luck on this journey! ✨

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